The Magic In The Middle (that doesn't feel magical.)

The second essay in my 4-part series on reimagining strength, releasing old roles, and allowing yourself to evolve.

Apr 10, 2025

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THE VIBE:

Part 2 of the “Evolving Strength” Series

The Discomfort of Becoming

We want growth.
We crave expansion.
We set intentions. We do the work.
We pursue elevation and expansion.

But what’s usually left out of that process is thinking about this critical part:
Growth doesn’t always feel good while it’s happening.

I’ve had moments when I knew I was growing and could feel an old version of me fading, but instead of feeling empowered, I felt off. I felt unanchored and uncertain, almost like I was walking barefoot through fog with no map and no secure destination in sight.

Maybe you’ve felt that too. Maybe you’re there right now.

This essay is about that part of growth.
The middle space. The uncomfortable and unspoken part—where you know you’re shifting but haven’t landed firmly in a secure place yet.

This space is not wrong—it’s sacred.
It needs your compassion to be understood.

The Honorable Middle Space

There’s a phase of growth that doesn’t get talked about enough.
It’s not the “before” or the “after.”
It’s the in-between.
The part where you’ve outgrown the old, but the new hasn’t fully taken shape.

Maybe you’ve raised your standards, but you’re still learning how to live them.
Maybe you’ve rewritten your beliefs, but you’re not fully stabilized in them yet.
Maybe you’re more Self-aware, more authentic, more you—but your life is still in the process of validating that shift.

That’s not a problem. That’s the process.

We all feel a lot of pressure to feel clear and certain all the time. But that’s not how growth goes. If you’re feeling a little wobbly, a little unsure, a little raw… don’t trip—you’re right where you’re supposed to be.

This is the middle.
The tender, unformed, unscripted middle.
It might feel like nothing is happening. But everything is being rearranged— for the better. This part of the journey isn’t meant to be rushed. It’s meant to be honored.

“The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.”
— Fabienne Fredrickson

Uncertainty Is a Growth Marker

Most people take uncertainty as a sign that something’s off.
Like they’re doing it wrong and should have more clarity by now.

But I’ve found the opposite is often true. Moments of uncertainty are one of the clearest indicators that you’re actually growing.

You’re no longer on autopilot.
You’re not performing a role or repeating a routine just because it used to work.
You’ve stepped out of the familiar—but the unfamiliar hasn’t fully become home yet.

Of course it feels off.
You’re expanding.
You’re shedding.

You’re becoming.

And becoming rarely feels like an arrival.
It feels like movement.
Like real-time integration.
Like courage in motion.

And trust me—I know how tempting it is to want a sign that you're “on track.”
To want the feeling of arrival, of knowing. But maybe “the sign” isn’t the clarity you crave out there— it’s the invitation to become steady in the midst of the shift.

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”
— Carl Jung

Inner + Outer Change

Growth doesn’t just shift how you think.
It reshapes how you live.

Sometimes, the change is internal.
A shifted belief. A more authentic layer of yourself now prioritized. A new boundary.
That quiet refusal to settle for less than what you truly want to experience in your life

Other times, it plays out in your outer world.
You move cities. You walk away from something that used to define you. You realize a relationship no longer fits—not because of drama, but because your values have changed.

And then there are changes no one sees but you. You stop explaining yourself.
You stop saying yes when your body says no.
You stop playing small and start playing to win.
That kind of shift won’t always look like growth from the outside right away, but its the most expansive growth that shifts your reality.

This is why “growing pains” isn’t just a cliché—it’s real. Spiritual, emotional, and even physical. It’s the ache of expansion. The weight of alignment. It’s your inner world making space for what comes next. It’s you allowing a fuller version of yourself to lead your life. The ache of expansion may have you think you're failing— when you’re actually winning.

Why This Part Feels So Hard

There’s this pressure—spoken or unspoken—to be clear. To feel certain. To move with conviction at every step.

But that’s not how real growth works.
It’s not always a breakthrough.
Sometimes, it’s a slow unraveling of what no longer fits.
I’m not saying clarity doesn’t matter. It does.
Clarity is important for us to thrive.
But there will be moments when clarity isn’t “online” yet in your system.
And that doesn’t mean something’s wrong.
It doesn’t mean you’re stuck.

It means you’re working with a puzzle—not a problem.
And that’s a huge energetic difference.
Problems make us panic.
Puzzles invite us to stay open.
To notice. To listen. To keep our hearts in the game even when our minds don’t have the full picture.

I know the discomfort of that space.
Wanting to just know.
Wanting to feel anchored and confident again.
But here’s what I’ve learned: When you stop trying to solve the unknown and surrender to trusting in yourself and timing, you start allowing the truth to come to you.

You don’t need to rush clarity. You need to stay in integrity with your becoming. You need to stay devoted to your expansion.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.”— Rainer Maria Rilke

The Invitation

If you’re in this space—mid-shift, mid-shed, mid-becoming—don’t let the discomfort convince you something is wrong.

Let this be a moment of assurance:

You’re not lost.
You’re not behind.
You’re becoming.

Growth doesn’t always feel like power.

Sometimes, it feels like vulnerability.
Sometimes, it feels like shedding.

Sometimes, it feels like standing still when everything in you wants to sprint back to what you’ve already outgrown. This part of the process is not supposed to feel polished.

You’re in the stretch.
It’s supposed to feel a little scary— this is where you are most alive.

Let yourself be in it.
Let yourself be moved by it.
Let this discomfort become the proof that you’re alive, awake, and aligned.

Readiness is a result of devotion. Not a prerequisite.

Journal Prompt: What part of you is aching in expansion and asks for more compassion and trust in the process?

In Part Three, I’ll move into the intelligence of flexibility—how your ability to stay open, pivot, and let life rearrange you without losing yourself becomes one of the most powerful tools for embodied evolution.

xRx

PS. Self-intimacy is the first step in becoming a woman who moves through life powerfully with growth, sovereignty, presence, and unbreakable trust in herSelf. And that’s exactly what we cultivate inside The Opulent Woman Circle— details below.